But my three-year-old son
and I are in our element. "Holy smokes!" Nathan yips from his car
seat in the back. "It's . . . like . . . Christmas."
It sure is. If you're the
kind of person who, by Nov. 1, is already itching to hang Christmas lights,
there are certain destinations that cater to your yuletide yearnings.
Bronner's -- a
96,000-square-foot store -- offers 500 styles of nativity sets, ranging from
one that talks (it tells the Christmas story while a recorded choir sings We
Three Kings) to a "Christmas in a Nutshell" version housing a
minuscule Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. There are more than 6,000 kinds of
ornaments (the store groups them by theme, from "angels" to
"hunting and fishing"), and over 200 kilometres of garland are sold
every year. The store claims its electrical bill averages $1,200 a day.
"I need to buy a new
house for all this stuff," jokes one customer sporting a "Jesus Loves
You" T-shirt as she checks the price tag on a snow globe. Her friend
agrees, saying, "I just go crazy at Christmas."
Frankenmuth goes more than
a little nutty come holiday time. In mid-November, the streets are decked out
for the season. Zehnder's of Frankenmuth, a chicken-dinner emporium that can
seat up to 1,500 guests, serves its holiday-themed "Golden Roasted Half
Duckling Dinner" with cranberry apple relish. Diners can wash it down with
"Honeywood Holiday Cheer," a blend of white wine, cranberries, orange
peel and cloves.
Just be sure to book a room
early if you're planning a weekend trip. Even though there are dozens of hotels
in the area, there was no room at any inn when we tried to find accommodation
last Saturday.
There are some who say that
Frankenmuth is the be-all and end-all of Christmas destinations. But there are
other spots around the world that rival "Michigan's little Bavaria"
when it comes to over-the-top festiveness:
Market merriment in
Berlin
The German capital is one
of the most festive places on Earth come December, with more than 50 Christmas
markets and Advent bazaars each year.
You'll find one of the most
popular bazaars next to Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, around the corner from
Kurfurstendamm, Berlin's opulent shopping and theatre strip. Sample the
steaming mulled wine and baked cinnamon stars while perusing more than 100
handicraft stalls and refreshment stands. Meanwhile, trumpet ensembles,
children's choirs and jazz and Dixie performers will take the stage at the
Weltbrunnen fountain every weekend during Advent.
Most Christmas markets
start during the last week of November and run through to Christmas Eve. They
usually open at 10 a.m. and close for the night between 6 and 9 p.m.
Ontario's evergreen
epicentre
Drysdale Tree Farm knows
how to do Christmas right. More yuletide extravaganza than cut-your-own
plantation, the property opens this weekend, marking its 60th year in Simcoe
County's rolling countryside north of Toronto. It offers the standard wagon
rides, mulled cider and open fire, but has expanded its Christmas offerings in
recent years.
This season, kids can wait
for a turn on Santa's lap in his permanent red-roofed home, get their faces
painted, or take in a magician's show. It's all free -- although prices start
at about $40 for a two- to three-metre tree.
City folk entering the
195-hectare tree farm should dress for the weather (wear real winter boots) and
bring their own saws, owner Doug Drysdale advises. The farm does provide saws,
but on a busy Saturday they're snapped up faster than you can say "Fraser
fir."
If you can't stand crowds,
arrive before 11 a.m. and avoid the second weekend before Christmas, the
busiest of the season.
Indiana's tribute to St.
Nick
Think Disneyland was the
first theme park to open in the United States? Wrong. Try Holiday World &
Splashin' Safari -- originally called Santa Claus Land when it opened in 1946
-- in Santa Claus, a small farm town at the southern tip of Indiana.
Although the park is closed
for the season, the town of Santa Claus is gearing up for Christmas. With a
population of just over 2,000, the town will kick off its Christmas in Santa
Claus and Festival of Lights event on Dec. 10 with a 20-kilometre-long,
Christmas-light-festooned drive.
The second weekend in
December also features an all-you-can-eat pancake dinner with Santa (remember,
this is southern Indiana, land of the buffet), craft shows, letter-writing to
Santa, holiday concerts and gingerbread decorating.
For the full Santa Claus
experience, stay the night at Santa's Lodge, and take in some bedtime stories
with Santa in the evening -- complete with milk and cookies -- and breakfast
with Saint Nick the next morning. The program runs from Dec. 2 to Dec. 17.
Jolly Caribbean jump-ups
If you're hell-bent on
leaving Canadian cold and snow behind -- and don't mind an early-morning
wake-up call -- visit Kingstown, the capital of St. Vincent and the Grenadines
in the Caribbean, for its Nine Mornings Festival.
From Dec. 16 until
Christmas Day, locals get up at 5:30 a.m. to parade through the streets and
attend mass at different churches around the islands. If that seems too tame,
take a "sea bath" (swim) with the locals, dance a jump-up to a steel
band or join in a traditional bicycle race.
The various organized
events surrounding Nine Mornings are relatively new, having taken root over the
past few years. Traditionally, celebrations were spontaneous, but this year,
perhaps the police caroling contest will instill a little bit of order into the
glorious, festive chaos of a well-loved bash.
NYC's holiday highlights
There's something about
Christmas in New York that makes pushing through crowded, snowy streets
enjoyable. That said, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy the city without
spending a mint in Macy's or Bloomingdale's.
This year, the Rockefeller
Center tree lights up Wednesday, Nov. 30, at 9 p.m. and will remain lit until
Jan. 6, 2006. And if you're up for a spin around the ice rink, rent a pair of
skates for $10. Who cares if ice time will cost you $20 on the weekend? Playing
Barbara Ann Scott against a Gotham skyline is worth it.
Don't forget to visit
Bryant Park's Fete de Noel. For the first time, the park will transform itself
into a wonderland of arts and crafts, shopping and seasonal food -- an American
take on outdoor markets found in towns and cities across Europe.